a bad week

Well it was a pretty horrible week. slightly better today, after I increased the depakote at my doctor's request. I almost have convinced myself that the past month or so hasn't really happened. I still am anxious or nervous, not sure which. I just hope I can make it through this, I really want to be a good husband and father. I feel like such a failure. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist on June 1oth. I am really scared to become dependent on medication or that the medication will just make things worse. I just hope I am doing the right thing. This should be the happiest time of my life...